I found myself stuck in a checkout line recently and, as happens quite often, the person in front of me struck up a conversation.
It started harmlessly enough, with talk about the weather and rushing to get things done, and I found myself nodding and commiserating. Then the conversation took an ugly turn. This person shared elitist views I found shocking and offensive, all while still smiling at me and assuming I would agree.
I couldn’t let it ride, so I stirred up some gumption and said something like, “I don’t think I’d go that far.” But I know my point was probably missed.
I left the checkout counter feeling abused for having had to listen to such poisonous thoughts. What gave this person the right? But I also felt guilty for not doing more, for not objecting more strongly. The liberator in me felt I should have tried harder to educate the speaker about the hurtful things said. And I didn’t so I wouldn’t make a scene? How weak is that?
But I didn’t ask to be put in that position, did I? Maybe, in my effort to connect with the people around me, I opened myself up for assault.
In quiet moments, the scene keeps playing out in my mind. How could I have handled it differently? Certainly I could have refrained from participating in the conversation at the start, but must I deny myself many pleasant interactions such as I’ve had with other shoppers because of the few uncomfortable ones? When the comments started making me uneasy I could have turned my head to study the batteries in the display next to me and indulged my desire to fade into the scenery.
Conversely, I could have objected much more strenuously to the hateful words left floating in the air, leaving no doubt where I stood. Maybe that person would think twice before spouting such offensive views again.
I didn’t go to the store to fight moral battles. I went to buy a few things for supper. What is it that makes people assume their hateful views are welcome? Do they think they’ll convince others to join them in their misguided beliefs?
I’m not sure what the answer is. But as I’ve aged, my tolerance has worn thin. The next person who, unbidden, accosts me with their unwelcome views, better be prepared for some fireworks. It’s just too bad if that causes a scene. Maybe a scene is warranted.
Some Thoughts 